20 years ago I moved from the temporary haven I was staying in Brooklyn, NY to Kent, WA. (Pause for another one of many heartfelt “thank you”s to Ethan and Leigh for taking me in when my life was in turmoil.) Just me, my cats, and two suitcases of clothes made the journey cross country, shedding an old, horrible life for one of absolute uncertainty. (A truck of books and a little furniture came a few weeks later. Yes, of course I had books, it’s me after all.)
It was the best choice I’d ever made.
I left pain behind and spent a glorious summer by the pool, basking in the sun and slowly putting my head back together. I had no job, but because of a friend, I also had no rent (another heartfelt thank you to MIKE for this). My savings were sufficient for groceries and the odd movie. all I had to do was decide what I wanted to do with my life.
My aunt gave me a tip about a job opening in September, and I got the job much more easily than I expected. And with that I became an actual resident . . . 20 years and I haven’t moved far from that first apartment.
Change is hard. Uncertainty is worse. But if your choice is between soul-sucking pain or despair and something else, it may be the best choice to take that uncertain option.
Earlier this week I re-posted a note to Postsecret about being handed sticks when I most needed them.
Sometimes my sticks feel too small for the task, but I’m gonna keep handing them out, because they’ve been handed to me so many times before.
I got handed great big sticks, logs, when I needed to escape my first marriage. And more sticks when I chose to start a new life. It was a blessing unlooked for, and made all the difference in how I’ve turned out.
Now I have a new life, so much better than I could even have imagined 20+ years ago. I am loved and cherished by a truly wonderful man, surrounded by charming and endearing pets. I have amazing friends (and you are, all of you) who bring me culture, fresh perspectives, and wonderful conversations with a side helping of delicious food.
May it be so for at least another 20 years.